A New Anger: Part 2

When I was at the consultation with the hand surgeon, I was having an extremely difficult time scheduling the surgery around my husbands work schedule so that he could be with me, as well as being home to help with the recovery.  Sadly, we couldn’t get a time frame that worked so I had to schedule it when he wasn’t available.

Suzie volunteered to fly out and stay through the point of my recovery that I could take care of myself and my kids.  She flew out a couple of weeks early so that she and I could spend some quality time together.  I would say that almost from the moment she walked off the plane, it was just this wave of drama.

The girls were so excited to see their Aunt Suzie.  They gave her hugs and giggled and wouldn’t leave her alone.  In the first week that she was here (she was supposed to be visiting for four weeks in total), my husband, the girls, and I took her to a newly built mall in downtown that has glass roofs that are retractable.  They also have this huge play area in the food court where children can climb all over these somewhat life-sized dinosaurs.

I was doing my best to please Suzie and my husband at the same time which is impossible to do.  My husband has never fully forgiven her for the way she treated me and acted while she was living with us.  So, while we were at the mall, I was trying to talk to Conall (husband) about the argument and Suzie wanted to get food.

I told her to go and get her food but I stayed in the playroom while Conall and I were talking things through.  When Conall and I decided it was time to go, I had to go find Suzie since she never came back to where we were.  From the moment I walked to where she was sitting, it was an immediate attitude.  She was actually on the phone with her foster-father complaining that she was having to eat by herself.  Which, at eighteen, I would think that she would be able to eat alone.  I didn’t walk over to the food court with her because I was apologizing to Conall and making sure that he and I were okay.

Something my blood relatives don’t understand and resent is the fact that I will put Conall first before any of them with the exception of my one and only surviving grandmother.  Everyone else will come in last place when it comes to my husband.  Conall is the only person in my life that has ever been constant, stable, and supportive.  It never mattered to him how bad things got, he was always there unlike any of my blood relatives (including my mother).  This is why I was more concerned with my husband being upset than I was at Suzie being upset.  Suzie very much resents this.

When we were leaving the mall, she made it very clear that she was upset by ignoring my husband, the girls, and I.  Anytime she did talk to us she was very short in her answers.  This isn’t how an eighteen year old should act.  This was just the first of many issues that happened while she was here.

The next incident was a major one in my book.  She made my youngest daughter cry.  My youngest daughter Clairy is three years old.  Suzie was trying to get Clairy to help undo her car seat because she had a soda in her other hand.  If you ever had kids, you know that there isn’t a way to get a toddler out of a car seat with one hand.  Instead of setting down her cup on the ground or somewhere else and undoing Clairy’s car seat herself, she proceeds to berate her by saying “Clairy, you’re such a pain.”  Which, in a three-year-old’s mind, is the equivalent of someone calling her a name.  This wasn’t just someone… this was her Aunt saying this to her.  It hurt her feelings and doing what a three-year-old does best, she started to cry.  I was rounding the bed of my truck coming around to resolve the problem and passed Suzie (who was on her way inside leaving my daughter in the truck alone and still in her car seat).  I comforted my daughter and I told Suzie that her actions were unacceptable.  That to treat a three-year-old that way was wrong.  At eighteen, she needed to act like an adult.

I have always questioned where Suzie gets her money from since she doesn’t have a job.  She has an Apple MacBook Pro that (with upgrades) cost $5,000, an $800 Sony Camera, a $300 Fossil Watch, and many other expensive things.  When I questioned her on how she makes money, she stated that she babysitts and just saves her money.  I was very skeptical when she told me this.  She doesn’t work and has never held a job and therefore has never had to shoulder ANY kind of responsibility.  I stepped back from the situation and decided to give Suzie the benefit of the doubt.  I explained to her why it was wrong for her actions.  I walked her through what she SHOULD have done and I let her know that Clairly is only three and in the grand scheme of a life, she’s just a baby.

When I told Conall about how Suzie had acted towards our daughter, he wanted me to throw her bags in the back of the truck and take her to the airport to let her figure out how to get home on her own.  I explained how since Suzie has never had to have responsibility, she has to be taught how to handle it.  After talking to Suzie about what she had done wrong, I made her apologize to Clairy so that Clairy would understand that her aunt loves her.  Being three, Clairy didn’t want anything to do with it at first.  She made Suzie work at the apology.  Eventually, she had Clairy giggling.  There was still this part of me that wanted to smack her upside the back of the head because she made my daughter cry.

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