The reason why I have titled these entries as “A New Anger” is because of the stark differences in parenting between my sister and I. In reading and re-reading this first sentence, I know that I have gone over this issue before. This is a different, new anger that I haven’t figured out how to deal with yet. I’m not sure that I will figure it out anytime soon.

I have learned that there could be some sort of sexual relationship going on between Suzie and Foster (foster-father). When Suzie went to go visit my aunt before flying out to help me with the surgery, Foster drove her. She doesn’t have a license. When they pulled in the driveway of my aunt’s home, Foster got out of the car and walked around to my sisters side. He supposedly opened Suzie’s door, stuck his head into the car, and kissed her on the mouth.

I didn’t learn about this until after she flew home and therefore was unable to confront her or Foster about it. With this knowledge, a new seed of anger has been planted and watered with the aftermath. The feeling that I have is extremely hard to explain. I can put the blame on Kim for about 40% of Suzie’s problems, 50% of it on Suzie, and 10% of the blame on me. I have already gone over Kim’s problems and probaly have beat that horse to death. The bulk of the blame rests on my sisters shoulders now that she is an adult. She has not made any effort to progress from being the selfish teenage adolescent into a responsible young adult. I put ten percent of the blame on me because I don’t have the time, patience, or availability to teach her how to be a well-adjusted young adult. That was my mother’s responsibility. She failed. Now, with Suzie possibly having SEX with Foster to get the expensive toys that she wants… I am now left with an anger that I have never felt. I used to stand up to Jack A. in order to protect Suzie and now Foster (a grown man possibly close to 50 years of age) is possibly having sex with her. I can’t describe the pain in my heart.

Now that I have pre-faced this entry with that explanation I am now able to continue with the events that occurred during her stay. Prior to the even where she made Clairy cry and prior to Conall going on his work rotation, Suzie and I decided to have a girls day out so that we could bond as adults. We have never been able to have that opportunity and I have to say that I had a blast. At one point in our conversation that day, I was curious about her money situation and asked her how much she makes babysitting. Her response was that she only sits for one family but she makes $800 – $1,000 per job. My first question to that was… “How many kids are you sitting for?” Her response was two boys and a girl. This was such an outrageous number that I couldn’t help but ask “Who in the world would pay her that kind of money.” She said that it was for a government official and his wife of the town she lived in. I pretty much knew she was lying but I wasn’t going to point fingers and accuse.

After Suzie made Clairy cry, I knew for certain that it was a lie. People that have any kind of experience taking care of children would know not to act like that.

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