Excuse or Reason

I was washing dishes two days ago and thinking about the recent events and the text message from Kim and what that means.  It was like a light bulb went off over my head.  Something just clicked.  I joked that the light was probably bright enough to be seen from space.
It has ended at this.  There are reasons and there are excuses.  The difference between the two is that REASONS are why you do something.  EXCUSES are reason why you don’t do something. They could be considered opposites of each other.  This isn’t a simple way of thinking and has taken more thought and process than my other affirmations.  Please bear with me while I give some background these last two days.

My mother, Kim, would give me all of these excuses as to why she couldn’t do something.
Why she couldn’t come see us.
Why I should come see her.
Why she couldn’t be the mother she was supposed to be.
Excuses are negative.  They are reasons why you don’t do something.  The reasons that my mother had to do things right, could not outweigh her excuses.

I have applied this very new (to me) concept to my life as it is now.  It has been an interesting transition and I may have over cooked my brain with this change… but I’m so thrilled with the results.  Here is a scenario from this week with the excuse side and then again with the reason side.  Earlier this week I didn’t change the sheets on my daughters beds because I was tired.  I usually try to do this once a week.  My excuse (by way of justification) for not doing it was being tired.  Two days later I thought about why I wash the sheets.  We have two dogs that prefer the beds to their dog pillows.  So it’s healthier for my daughters if I wash the sheets regularly.  Their needs and what’s good for them should outweigh my excuses.  They are more important.
Now with this example… I understand there are times when I need to take care of me.  That the importance to keep a neat house don’t take priority.  That then becomes the reason.  Why is not washing the dishes important right now?  Because taking care of myself is important.

This may seem backwards, but for the things that are important, it’s not.  I remember my mom staying in bed and hiding in her room and when I would go talk to her… she would tell me “Not right now.  I’m tired.”  Excuse.  That’s all that is.  I refuse to have that indifference to my family.  I refuse to have excuses to why I don’t do things with my girls.
There have been times that I have sat and listened to them laughing and playing and my thought was… I wish they would be quiet.  I’m so tired.  I feel guilty admitting that but I know every parent has those thoughts.  Instead, I want to be there laughing with them.  I want to be there playing with them.  I want them to know that I mean it when I say that I love them.



8 thoughts on “Excuse or Reason

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  1. Hi phoenix, good luck with your operation, hope all goes ok for you and that its a complete success!
    A very interesting concept and to be honest not one i had thought about either.
    I think your girls know how much you love them.
    How did your late Christmas go in the end?
    Good luck again, take care 🙂
    love n hugs

  2. As a mother, I can remember when my son was little and I’d come home from a long day at work to him saying ‘play with me mum.’ A lot the time my response would be ‘not now, I’m tired.’ So we’ve all been there. 🙂
    Hope whatever it is you’re having done, goes well.

    1. Yeah. I know all parents go through that. One thing that I didn’t include in this post and in changing the way that I think is that I’m happier. My kids are happier and I find myself doing things without arguing with myself about getting them done. It’s a wonderful feeling.
      I am having my gallbladder and my appendix removed. I’m sure it will go well. I have a great surgeon.

      1. Good for you, I’m glad you’re happier now. 🙂
        Oh, but appendix, nasty little critter, had mine removed eighteen years ago but your’s sound twice as bad. Hoping you have a speedy recovery. 🙂

  3. If you can learn from your Mum’s mistakes instead of repeating them, you will do well! All the best with the surgery – I’m sure you’ll feel much better once you recover. Peace!

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