I was washing dishes two days ago and thinking about the recent events and the text message from Kim and what that means. It was like a light bulb went off over my head. Something just clicked. I joked that the light was probably bright enough to be seen from space.
It has ended at this. There are reasons and there are excuses. The difference between the two is that REASONS are why you do something. EXCUSES are reason why you don’t do something. They could be considered opposites of each other. This isn’t a simple way of thinking and has taken more thought and process than my other affirmations. Please bear with me while I give some background these last two days.
My mother, Kim, would give me all of these excuses as to why she couldn’t do something.
Why she couldn’t come see us.
Why I should come see her.
Why she couldn’t be the mother she was supposed to be.
Excuses are negative. They are reasons why you don’t do something. The reasons that my mother had to do things right, could not outweigh her excuses.
I have applied this very new (to me) concept to my life as it is now. It has been an interesting transition and I may have over cooked my brain with this change… but I’m so thrilled with the results. Here is a scenario from this week with the excuse side and then again with the reason side. Earlier this week I didn’t change the sheets on my daughters beds because I was tired. I usually try to do this once a week. My excuse (by way of justification) for not doing it was being tired. Two days later I thought about why I wash the sheets. We have two dogs that prefer the beds to their dog pillows. So it’s healthier for my daughters if I wash the sheets regularly. Their needs and what’s good for them should outweigh my excuses. They are more important.
Now with this example… I understand there are times when I need to take care of me. That the importance to keep a neat house don’t take priority. That then becomes the reason. Why is not washing the dishes important right now? Because taking care of myself is important.
This may seem backwards, but for the things that are important, it’s not. I remember my mom staying in bed and hiding in her room and when I would go talk to her… she would tell me “Not right now. I’m tired.” Excuse. That’s all that is. I refuse to have that indifference to my family. I refuse to have excuses to why I don’t do things with my girls.
There have been times that I have sat and listened to them laughing and playing and my thought was… I wish they would be quiet. I’m so tired. I feel guilty admitting that but I know every parent has those thoughts. Instead, I want to be there laughing with them. I want to be there playing with them. I want them to know that I mean it when I say that I love them.