I have a memory at five years old where Jack A. took me with him when he went to go hustle at pool. While they were waiting on someone else to show up, he played me in a game teaching me how to play. He used that to set up his hustle. I remember curling up in a chair and going to sleep. Almost like a cat in a window sill. I don’t remember getting up to go home. I just remember waking up in my own bed.
There was a night that we (Jack A., his brother David, and myself) went to Joe Pool Lake in Texas. I remember telling Jack A. that I was tired and wanted to go home. I was six or seven years old. I was told no and that we weren’t going home. I didn’t recognize what they were doing then but now, I know they were fishing and smoking meth. I remember going to lay down on a bench that was on the dock. Exhausted. We didn’t leave until after dawn.
What is hustle? I’m not trying to be smart but was this abuse?
I’m sorry your needs were ignored then – when I was in the throes of my active addiction, it was impossible to pay attention to anyone’s needs but my own. Luckily, I don’t have any children that I ignored to feed my demon, but I knew many that did. Poignant memory you describe. Thank you.
My mother Kim is an alcoholic and my stepfather used Meth. So, even though I don’t suffer from addiction, I totally support personal growth and recovery. Much luck.
Thank you for reading and your support. With much respect,
Phoenix
A short sharp inside view of your childhood. Like Venuscallipyge says, addicts don’t think about others.
Well written and interesting. But isn’t it odd the things we or our mind chooses to remember?
That it is. I look at the things I experienced so much differently now than I did at that age.
I wish you years of happiness. I suffered at the hands of bullies of all sizes and makes, it made me timid, shy, and shun the world around me.
Now in my fifties, I am gobbling up all experiences because I learnt an important lesson lately, we are all surrounded by love, sometimes we cannot see or feel it but it is there for us.