To Whom it May Concern:

This is an entry to a very specific audience; any ‘Family Members’ that I know are reading my blog.

I chose WordPress.com for its features and the community of writers.  To my fellow bloggers, thank you for your support.  I would not be where I am in my recovery if it wasn’t for you!  So, thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.  I went through all of my comments to make my responses after being on hiatus for several months.

I came across several comments from my supposed ‘Family Members’ and instead of responding to those comments individually, I dedicated an entry to my blog in your honor.

I am NOT the victim I once was because I have found my voice.  IT DOESN’T MATTER if you believe the things that HAVE happened to me.  You’re delusional if you believe that they didn’t.  But, it’s a free country and you are entitled to your own opinion but that’s all it is.  An opinion.  Not fact.  I know the facts and am stuck with them for the rest of my life.  Your opinion DOES NOT MATTER to me.  What you think, how you feel, or what you believe DOES NOT MATTER to me.  You stood by while these things happened and are just as guilty as HE is.  If I believed in a hell, you would be burning there for all eternity, right next to him.

To the person that committed these crimes, KARMA (which I do believe in) is a bitch.  I may not be there to see it when it happens, but she’s going to come back and bite you in the ass.

I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU any longer.  I am not a little kid and helpless any longer.  I have the ability to change my reality and am no longer under your control.  The significance of the wonderful features that WordPress.com has to offer is that your comments will never be approved to post.  I have the control to delete them.  They will never make it on my blog.  The control you once had over me is long gone.  How does that feel by the way?

Have a nice day!
~Mary

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34 thoughts on “To Whom it May Concern:

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  1. Good for you. Stand up for yourself. No one knows what you went through, because they didn’t walk in your shoes. If they really loved you though they would empathize with you and show their support. Really it doesn’t matter what they think. What matters is what happened to you. Maybe by not skirting around the bush with your family they will feel convicted. Hopefully they will come to you and say, “Ok, I am sorry I wasn’t there for you. I am now.” Crossing my fingers for you. Meghan

    1. Meghan,
      Sadly, I know my ‘family’ won’t see the fault in what they are or aren’t doing. BUT, I am okay with that. I refuse to allow anyone toxic to reside in my life.
      🙂
      With much respect,
      Phoenix

  2. Phoenix,

    Certain family members may be the last ones to affirm your reality, if they ever do. I pray you will soon come to the next place of your recovery and healing where you realize there are hundreds of us “out here” who read this and attest to your struggle and your sincerity who believe you. It is so important to be believed.

    Thank God for communication devices such as blogs and other kinds of social media where one can speak one’s truth. To whomever will listen. And it is so important to be able to speak the truth.

    And thank God there are ways, some small, some symbolic, some big, by which one can wrest back control of one’s life, mind, emotions, and spirit from the criminals who would destroy them. It is so important to regain strength and health.

    My prayers for God’s strength, power, and love to assist you in each stage of your ongoing recovery.

    1. I know they won’t and that’s okay. With each step I make, I know I am headed in the right direction and I know how many of us there are. I’m happy to have others that understand but saddened at the same time because you all know where that understanding comes from.
      You said it. I know that I don’t need them to believe me because I know that the ones that matter, do. Thank you for your warm thoughts and understanding. It means a lot.
      Respectfully,
      Phoenix

  3. You are sooo brave. and sooo courageous. I applaud your strength. Keep on going, you are strong, and a survivor, good job on standing up for your rights and to your family. xoxo

  4. Block and delete are a survivor’s friends😉 it feels sooooo good to let the crappy people and their hurtful words go! This is such an awesome and empowering statement…Very inspiring💜

  5. Intense expressions well manifested. Bold you are and you are capable of dealing with onslaughts in life without depending on the opinion of others.
    My thanks for following my blog. I too am following yours with immediate effect. All the best in life.

  6. Those are very powerful and inspiring words. Family opinion can be so hurtful and degrading. Thankfully, their opinions have no bearing on our healing.

  7. Your courage inspires me. I know what it’s like to not be believed, and to have a mother who stood by and did nothing when she was aware of the abuse. Thank you for standing strong.♥

  8. Humans are really good at circling wagons around the wrong places. The injured are sacrificed to protect the reputations of the guilty. That’s messed up. I often say that family is just enemies you don’t get to choose. That’s true way too much of the time.

  9. Um…. *charissa clears throat*…YAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You go!! I share from the depth of the fibre of my being the passion and authenticity in which you made those declarations!

    May I be encouraged from your boldness and forthrightness!
    Charissa

    1. Charissa,
      Thank you for cheering for me. I’m sorry that we have something in common in that regard. I can only hope that you do find the encouragement you need.
      Respectfully,
      Phoenix

  10. It would seem We share a family. Willing to let —anything— happen & deny to The Skies while slandering willfully. I walked away but have a pesky financial tie now being twisted against me.
    Like you, I choose not to care.
    Be good to yourself.
    Only one You!

    1. I’m sorry that we do. I’m sorry that it’s difficult for you to get away. I can only hope that you find a way. I know that once I removed my stepfather/mother/and blood relatives from my family, it allowed me to start on the journey to healing.
      I hope that you can find your way down that path.
      Respectfully,
      Phoenix

  11. You are right: you are not a victim. You are a survivor now. You survived the abuse. Now you are surviving the memories and the healing. Every one of these things Is hard. I know. In the memories, it helps to remember that these are memories and not happening now. We survived. The healing sets us free. As I write my own blog about resilience it is as a survivor. Thanks for writing your blog. You go, girl,

  12. What is done in secret will one day be shouted from the rooftops…and the people who should have protected you during the days of secrecy and shame…will react with denial and accusations…and, you will keep on taking back your power by singing like a bird with your newfound voice!! Sing on, my friend!!

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