I have let my blogging go by the wayside lately.  My depression has really gotten the best of me.  The sad thing is that I know the why behind the depression BUT can’t do anything about it.  I keep waiting to get better, like my Fibromyalgia and other medical issues are just going to fix themselves.  I have the hardest time accepting that I am going to be struggling with these problems for the rest of my life.

Have you ever felt tired?  Bone weary, ‘I want to give up,’ tired?  The people that I have left in my life, try to understand what it’s like for me everyday but… unless you have been there then it’s difficult to understand.  This is how I feel everyday and I keep waiting to get better.  How stupid am I?

I was hospitalized recently for Suicidal Ideation.  Not the first time but it was a much better experience in that my Psychiatrist was able to get my meds right.  Now if I would only take them like I am supposed to.  I just don’t take them at all.  I guess you could say that I am the definition of insanity.  History is going to keep repeating itself if I don’t start making the positive changes that I need to make in order to move forward.