I feel completely useless. I discuss this with my husband all of the time and it really bother’s him. Even with that, he supports me 100%. I can’t believe how lucky I am in that regard. Whenever I am weak and have a melt down, he gives me his strength…
The depth of how I feel towards myself is so negative. Some days, I can beat it, other days, it gets the best of me. Like today. My husband is at work and has pulled a muscle in his back. My feet hurt so bad from the FM, that I can barely get off the couch. This leaves me with the feeling that my usefulness has expired. Almost as if there is an expiration date on my forehead dated 2017.
He does so much for me. He makes sure I eat regularly. this is necessary because with the depression, I am never hungry. He reminds me to take my medications. Throughout everything, he waits patiently for me to have a good day so he can spend time with the woman he fell in love. Heaven knows that I am lost or have lost who I am.
I have written about this before. My ‘Negative Nelly’. This is where my head resides. I have copied the link to the ‘Negative Nelly’ entry for those that would like to read it.